Tuesday, November 23, 2004

The Alternative TVB Sales Presentation 2005

Once again, teeveebee presents some of its forthcoming productions. Brought to you this year by Aiwah and gooze!

Triumph in the Fries

Starring: Francis Ng, Michelle Ye, Myolie Wu, Ron Ng, Sammul Chan, Kenneth Ma and guest starring Bosco Wong as Ronald McDonald

Jumping at the chance to do another series about 'frying', Francis has landed himself in the fat as he realises this is series is actually set in a burger bar where his character Sam is fired from his pilot job after they realise how poor his English is and is left to start again from the bottom in a McDonalds, serving french fries, burgers and chicken mcnuggets. There he meets a group of young trainees, that includes a high school dropout Issac, university grad who can't get an office job Donald, ex-model Roy and the token pretty girl, Zita who falls for Sam's maturity and charm.

Life goes swimmingly until Zita finds out that Sam already has a wife. Will Sam leave Zoe for Zita decide to accept the affections from Issac and Donald? Is there a secret relationship between Roy and Ronald? More importantly, will Zita be able to keep her figure with the temptation of all this junk food?

Spilt Seconds

Starring: Alex Fong, Bobby Au Yeung, Kenix Kwok, Yoyo Mung

July 1st 2004 - Haagen Dasz Boutique Restaurant, Tsimshatsui

CIB inspectors Ga Sir (Bobby) and Madam Wong (Kenix) are consoling each other over a 9-flavour lover's selection super sundae when suddenly, their colleague Dung Sir (Alex) rushes in and points a gun at them.
"Don't move!!"
In the shock, Madam Wong's arm accidentally swings and knocks over the ice cream dessert, splattering sweet stuff all over the table and the floor.

"I told you we shouldn't have had that second helping! That cost me $300!" calls Ga Sir.

"Wait... look!" shrieks Madam Wong as she points at the melting dessert dripping from the side of the table onto the tiled marble floor. There is a small black electronic device with a blinking red LED that is being revealed from within a scoop of strawberry cheesecake flavour. It's a bomb!

The team have just thirty days before the annual dessert exposition where the crazy ice cream bomber threatens to send all the gluttons of Hong Kong into ice cream heaven. Will they manage it or will this be an end to the slimming industry in Hong Kong as we know it?

TVB Apprentice

Starring: Jade New Army - Lai Lok Yi, Amigo Chui, Jack Wu, Charles Szeto, Vin Choi, Martin Lau, Linda Chung, Vivien Yeo, Cecilia Yeung, Winnie Shum, Anita Kwan and Fu Sze Sze.
Special Guest Star: Mona Fong

When these twelve young stars put themselves forward for a chance to star in a major promotional series that would prepare them for the cut-throat world of showbusiness, little did they realise that not only were the rewards great, but also the sacrifices. Week by week, the contestants are put through a series of challenges that will test their TVB artiste abilities to the max, but there is only one inevitability at the end of each challenge and that is that Mona will say the legendary words to one person: "You're fired!"

Challenges will include:
- Filming for 48 hours with just a fifteen minute toilet break
- Living, eating, washing and sleeping at TVB City for two weeks running
- Being dangled from a wire in the middle of a mosquito ridden forest in the height of summer for 10 hours whilst the director and producer argue over camera angles
- Competition to see how many times you can be photographed with the executives in a week
- Wearing winter clothing in sweltering 30+ degrees heat and summer clothing right smack in the middle of winter

The prize: One year's top promotion by TVB as a managed artiste, being given all the leading roles in the 'Grand Productions', guaranteed an award at the anniversary and a massive jewellery sponsorship contract. Also, numerous seafood lunches with the executives and a four month exile to Hengdian and Beijing in mid-winter to be worked to the bone in the next great TVB flop.

War and Beauty in TVB City

Starring: Sheren Tang, Maggie Cheung, Charmaine Sheh, Gigi Lai
Introducing: Lok Yik Ling, Tsang Lai Jun and Chan Chi Wan

Set in the surroundings of a thriving monopolous television station set in a not so faraway land, the story tells of the conflicts between four female divas as they vie for the attentions of the two controllers of power in the Inner Production Palaces. 'Empress' Ling and 'Head Concubine' Jun are the outwardly friendly inwardly devious rulers within the palace, that is led by the 'Emperor' Wan.

We cover the story through the two young ladies Maan and Chi arrival at TVB city, their progress through the artiste training classes, their rise to success and all the devious tricks that are dealt out to their competitors along the way. Angered by the emergence of these young stars, semi-veterans Man and Yee work together to be sure of their place in the hierarchy, but can two people co-exist at the top of the ladder and how much of a threat do the young ones really pose. With the approach of the climax and the anniversary awards ceremony, we see backstabbing and rumour-mongering to the max as each lady hatches their plan on how to get the much anticipated reward.

There will also be a concurrent series of related gossip and commentary that will be featured in all top periodicals when this series airs surrounding the four female leads to fully ensure that the promotion is pushed to the max.

To Hatch the Unhatchable

Starring: Dayo Wong, Ada Choi and a large egg

Detective Mok is back in this sequel to the hit show, proving that he did not die in the first series after all. After their marriage, Vivi gives up her job and soon becomes pregnant, but when the big day comes and the baby Mok is born, they are all shocked to find that Vivi has given birth to an egg.

Ever the investigator, Mok sets about finding out how this happened and what the sinister plot behind the egg is, but no matter how hard he tries, he cannot get his child to hatch from the egg. When other people also start giving birth to mysterious eggs, the hospital creates a special battery section to store them all until Mok can come up with a solution and an explanation. Will Mok solve this mystery or will they all just have extra large omelettes for dinner instead?

Lady Maa Fan and a Handful of Poo

Once again Jessica is paired with Joe Ma in this ancient day serial that spans through a number of generations until the modern day. Not believing in fate that Joe Ma is her downfall and the king of flops, Jessica as Lady Maa Fan goes against the heavens and steps up to defend this wannabe lead actor. Unfortunately, when it's written in the stars, no matter how good or popular a fa dan you are, Lady Maa Fan realises that she can't fight fate, resulting in her fall together with him.

And so Lady Maa Fan goes down in history as the ever kind-hearted (and stupidest) fa dan in the teeveebee-verse, jeopordising her career and crediibility for the sake of a man.

Guppy Love

Starring: Yuen Wah, Kiki Sheung and a few other veteran actors plus some kids for 'ahhh' factor
Voice talents: Miriam Yeung, Ronald Cheng and Anthony Wong

The phrase 'Gum Yu Lo' (Goldfish Man) in Cantonese usually refers to someone who tempts children away from their parents with some goldfish and then kidnaps them and our hero in this story is a 'Gum Yu Lo', but not of the negative type. Wah is a man who owns a goldfish shop, but tired of being mistaken for a child abductor, he decides to get rid of all his goldfish and start selling tropical fish instead, earning himself the name 'Guppy Lo' instead. He is a sudden hit with the parents and children alike as they call come and admire his colourful fish and even finds love with single mother Ngo.

Meanwhile, in the tanks there is another love story emerging as two of the guppies, voiced over by Miriam and Ronald fall for one another, but are desperate to get away from the evil piranha Rex who wants to take guppy girl for his wife. Will guppy boy managed to outwit the fish with a nasty nip, or will he end up as fish food?